Category: General

We see it everywhere – American Idol, The Voice, Survivor, The Apprentice, The Biggest Loser, and more. Every week people give their all only to be told they are not welcome back. They weren’t good enough, weren’t popular enough, were voted off, didn’t make the cut.

As a youth, that happened to me fairly regularly. I would spend a week staying after school to try out for soccer or baseball. Other times I would stay for auditions for a choir or the school play. Then on “cut day” I would slowly approach the list the coach or director posted outside of their office that contained the names of those who “made it.” More often than not, my name was not on the list. I didn’t make the cut. That hurt every time.

Worse, the cold reality that I wasn’t good enough didn’t stay confined to my athletic or vocal abilities. It spilled over into other areas. Rather than feeling I had failed at this specific task, I thought I was a failure. As an insecure adolescent that is understandable. As a professionals that is unacceptable.

Last week Michael Hyatt posted a blog entry, “The Primary Difference Between the Wise and the Foolish,” in which he recounts a conversation he had with a business acquaintance. The acquaintance was asking for advice about a difficulty he or she was having at work, but was unwilling to change what they were doing. They spoke as if seeking a solution to the problem, but were more comfortable just complaining. “Ten minutes into the discussion,” Hyatt writes, “I realized I was dealing with a fool. There was no point in continuing the conversation. More talk would not change anything.” It reminded me of a quote attributed to Edwin Friedman, “The colossal misunderstanding of our time is the assumption that insight will work with people who are unmotivated to change” (Friedman, ix).